Angry Young & Poor

I've been thinking a lot about debt lately.

Sometimes I wish I could say, "the hell with it! I'm opening up another credit card." It's been tempting. I already have so much debt, so what's wrong with a little more? I'll deal with it later. I'd love to go crazy and be able to eat and pay my bills each month.

What keeps me grounded is this: Buying things is like fleeting sexual expeditions. I'm all for the pleasure, but a fling three years ago means nothing to me now. In conclusion of this analogy, the uplifting feeling of spending money is only temporary.

In any case, my generation deals with more than $20,000 worth of college loan debt alone. I feel like I'll have debt the rest of my life.

There's a great website that has tips on living frugally. It's called AndThenWeSaved.com. I've read a lot of her articles and she seems legit. Here's a lovely post on making easy meals on a budget: 98 Cheap and Easy Foods for Under 5 Bucks.

The Top 10 Lessons I've Learned Since Graduating College

10. You can't survive on cereal alone.

9. Wash your dishes right after you use them. There's hardly any scrubbing involved. It takes way less time than you think it will.

8. Constipation is one of the worst feelings ever. Eat fiber or else.

7. Pricks and jerks actually exist in the real world. Whether they are an acquaintance or coworker, treat them as if they were having a bad day. There is a reason why that person is a prick to begin with.

6. Your metabolism is going to start slowing down. You'll notice. The trick is to find an active hobby like dancing or rock climbing so it doesn't feel like exercise. Also, more people exercise than you originally thought.

5. Deal with responsibilities head on. Problems get worse with time.

4. Not making a choice counts as making a choice.

3. Customize solutions for situations that you regularly encounter. For example, I feel better the second I start writing. It'll be a rough start, but it's sure to work.

2. Time is a limited resource, even if it doesn't feel that way. If you spend it all on playing the Sims 3, you're going have a bad time.

1. It takes a true effort to maintain friendships and make new ones. In school you were thrown together and easily fell into becomes friends. It's not like that anymore. Your acquaintances have no way of knowing you want to be friends with them. Invite them out, talk to them, and schedule group activities in advance.

Fill-in-the-Blanks: Narrowing Down Your Job Search

Retail's busiest time is during the holidays. For the past 4 months, I have worked as a pseudo part-timer for 35 to 40 hours a week. Now that the holidays are over, I'm looking at about 15 to 18 hours a week. Somewhere in the back of my mind I knew that this was going to happen, but I didn't prepare for it as well as I should have.

I have to kick my career into gear. Ideally, I'd like to have a full-time entry-level job, but I may have to settle for a second part-time job to pay the bills. Not having a reliable source of income is making me nervous. I'd like to eventually do freelance work on the side, so I should practice staying calm in moments such as this. Perhaps you would like to join me in figuring out what I should do. If you see a connection that I don't, let me know. Fresh eyes are always helpful.

*Deep breath*

Okay, first off, I need to narrow down my job search. Hard work speaks for itself, so I just need to get my foot in the door.

I would like:
1. a creative learning environment
2. variety of tasks
3. mid- to fast-pace

I would be okay with:
1. working in a cubicle
2. working from the ground up

I would not like:
1. constant supervision
2. retail or food

What skills/qualities do I have?
1. self-starter
2. hard-worker
      -is able to streamline tasks without error
3. passionate and creative
4. strong command of language
5. abstract thinker
6. Proficient in Word, Excel, FileMaker Pro
7. 85wpm with 100% accuracy

What interests do I have?
1. interior design
2. online articles (favorite websites: apartmenttherapy.com and thoughtcatalog.com)
3. drawing/painting
4. writing/reading
5. talking to people

Style Happens When You Least Expect It

This morning was a bit of a blur. I nuzzled my pillows until my roommate woke me up to bring her to work. I practically fell out of bed to put a jacket on. I zombied my way to the bathroom and downstairs to the car. Thank God my sunglasses were in the glove-box, because there was no way I was walking back upstairs to find them.

I'll admit, it was 11:30 in the morning. I hadn't been inebriated the night before and there wasn't too much going on, but I was still drowsy and driving (which is almost as bad as drinking and driving... Don't do it, kids). After dropping the roommate off, I went to the grocery store to pick up a few things.

I fumbled with the red plastic baskets. There was a cool chick walking towards me. As she walked past, she nodded her head and said, "Hey, I like your style."

She seemed meaningful, but I mostly pity people who wear pajamas in public, especially when it's past noon. Maybe it's because they usually pair an obnoxious blue sweater and white PJ bottoms with snoopy all over them. My unintentional 'style' of the day was Punk-Rock Grocery. I was (and still am) wearing a black t-shirt, black jacket, black shoes, and red and black plaid flannel pants. My hair was in a ruckus from tossing and turning last night, and I'm sure I had an air of "I don't care."

Style happens when you least expect it. I certainly didn't plan Punk-Rock Grocery. My favorite outfits over the years had been thrown together when I only had a few seconds to get ready. In my experience, over-thinking your style is disastrous. When I take my time planning an outfit, I'll second guess myself. I'll fret over the image I'm trying to portray. Even worse, like most Americans, I have too many choices. My closet is full of pieces I never wear but feel too guilty to get rid of.

I love to express myself through clothing, but it's frustrating. My solution? Limit your choices, don't over-think it, and channel whatever energy you have at the time. Style is something that shouldn't be stressed over, it should come effortlessly. Next time you go out, give yourself 5 minutes to get ready. That includes hair, make-up, clothes-- you should be walking out the door in 5 minutes or less. Put a timer on. You'll be surprised at how easily your natural style shines through.

Writing in the Face of Failure

''You want to know the difference between a master and a beginner?
The master has failed more times than the beginner has even tried.'  

Upon first glance, writing is a well-meaning and natural outlet. But somehow along the way, I've taken to sabotaging myself before I even pick up the pen. Facing the possibility of failure takes a lot of guts. 

Like the other day, I took out my analog notebook and began to write. The desk was uncomfortable and too solid, so I moved to my bed. I wrote on my stomach for a while, but then my back started to hurt. I flipped over, got comfortable, then my pen stopped working, and then the pillows weren't very supportive of my urge to write in bed. 

In that brief moment, I literally mourned for the time wasted. And I was irritated by the fact that I had never thought to get a pen that wrote upside-down. A whopping twenty-three dollars worth of money? Hah, I have normal black pens that are free. Free because I bought them with my now non-existent money. This is defeat.

Wait. Chill out. 

Welcome back to reality, Elizabeth, where pencils exist.

The answer seems obvious, but is it worth not starting something because you may fail? Swing by Doodle Alley to see how welcoming failure can be more rewarding than you think. 

Create With Courage, my friends!

Elizabeth

The Post-Grad Gap of Pop Culture

Pop culture tells us that high school is awkward. College is for partying and discovering who you are. Your 40s are full of resentment and routine. Where are the books and movies that tell me what happens after college? Other than the Graduate, what've we got?

I'll be happier once I leave high school... College is a necessary drudge. I'll do better next semester... Next time will be different. 

I've followed other people's expectations for most of my life. I was a quiet child, hoping that my good behavior would earn me brownie points. I did well in grade school, and have always had "intelligence" as one of my top three traits until recently. All of the movies I had seen and all of the things I've heard taught me that college was the next hoop I was supposed to jump through, except none of my collected data hinted that college would be so hard. I wasn't ready, but definitely couldn't teeter on the fence of my parents' disappointment much longer. I hadn't done anything, but maybe that was the point. College did what college does: it got me out of my shell, it provided a somewhat safe space for self-discovery. But it didn't prepare me for life after college, just as my advanced high school course work did not prepare me for college.

I didn't realize that after college, you have to work work work until you die die die. Money has never been much of a priority to me, and I don't think it ever will be. I'm a natural worrier, so I've never wanted to think about it. I knew that you had to work for money to pay your bills and things, but I never fully understood that you have to work for money, and that money pays your bills.

Pop culture has generally guided me in the right direction because I take anything I ingest with a grain of salt. There's a hefty mountain of books and movies that cover high school years, the summer before college, and college. The moral of these stories are usually "be yourself" and "don't turn your back on your friends." The first movies that come to mind are The Breakfast Club, Easy A, and Superbad. College movies are sloshing with alcohol and bad decisions. Skipping the 30-year-old Friends, Sex in the City, and various stoners still living in their parents' basement, the next age group shown in pop culture is the downtrodden, lonely 40-year-old with a piece of burnt toast, no butter. They're stuck. I don't want to be stuck at 40. I don't want to be stuck now. Pop culture, tell me what to do. My age group is hardly represented in a positive light (i.e. Lena Dunham's tv drama, Girls), and I have no idea why/what/how to make life work after college. 

The obvious answer (that I don't want to admit is right) is that I need to stay focused on the here and now, and to take my time enjoying each step. But honey, I'm only existing right now. I'm trying to get the hang of balancing my job and a social life. It's much harder than it sounds. I have to sort through the muck of over-analytical thoughts, social anxieties, and general distrust/disgust of humans. I just want pop culture to tell me what I'm supposed to do. I flailing around like a fish out of bacteria-infested water. Either choice sucks and ultimately kills me. 

The Magnificent Vincent Price

I nabbed the 1953 edition of House of Wax starring Vincent Price a few days ago and finally popped the DVD in last night. On the cover in small font read, "Mystery of the House of Wax included (1933)." I hadn't realized Price's version wasn't the original. Unfortunately, the 2005 version of House of Wax, starring Paris Hilton, is a painful belly flop on a leech-filled lake.

Back to the 1953 Wax, Price portrays an artist obsessed with beauty, his figures as living history, and above all, his beloved Marie Antoinette. His business partner and financial backer urges him to leave history in the past. 'There should be shock value!' he said. But Price's character disagreed, and continued reassuring Marie Antoinette that she is his esteemed pleasure. The business partner lights a match, saying that the insurance money ($25,000) would make them rich. A fight broke out between the two of them while the gallery went up in flames. Price's character was said to be dead. Years later, with hands disfigured, the wax artist starts again with a new gallery. This time, he highlights the tormented souls of history instead of the gentle and beautiful. The new gallery also features recent crimes that one would read in the newspaper, such as his old financial partner hanging himself in an elevator shaft.

It's interesting that Price's character shifts from a gentle artist to a man of grim shock in this film, especially when Price himself is a man of showmanship. What we would now consider cheap gimmicks, the audiences considered awe-inspiring. The 1953 House of Wax, for example, was one of the first 3-D movies to be a success at the North American box office. In House on Haunted Hill (1959), a skeleton jumps out to attack the wife of Price's character. While the film was traveling the country, theater to theater, a 12-foot blow-up skeleton was released swinging into the audience. Of course, all of the younger boys loved this, told their friends, and saw the film again.

Oh Vincent, if only the remakes of your films were half as good as yours...